Reply "Opposites"

This is a response I wrote after reading Pue’s Opposites. I don’t know if I actually had any incite to add to it, but it did make me think about a lot. Those thoughts are kind of rambled forth here. I tried to maintain some sort of order and flow. I wasn’t that successful.

The first thought I had reading it was of Readers Digest. Yup, the monthly variety magazine you see in the grocery store checkout. Although I find RD somewhat simplistic and banal when I read it now, I used to read it a lot when I was a kid. It was somewhat of a family staple; we had a subscription, and it was always a happy day when the new issue showed up in the mail. I credit with out doubt, that little book’s role in developing my literary aptitude as a child.

The particular article I was reminded of was labeled “Dueling Proverbs” and consisted of a page filled with pairs of contradicting phrases, proverbs, or tibits of advice. The pair that still sticks in my head today is “Throw caution to the wind” and “Look before you leap”. These have similar implications to the quotes listed in the beginning of Peu’s essay.

For some reason, reading things like this immediately conjure up images of what I imagine native American tribes as having been like. There would be an elderly old man with all white hair, some of it tied long strands of beads hanging along side his wrinkled face hardened from time. He would pass advice on to the inexperienced youth, showing him how to be patient in the hunt, only bringing forth the brunt of his full force when the exact moment arose. The youth would also learn to push aside doubt when he was afraid, and act without hesitation. The youth who began being inpatient and arrogant, would follow use the training to grow into a man. I obviously have a romanticized and idealistic view of tribal life, probably caused from reading too many “historical fictions”. This is especially the case when comparing my view of it to the modern day, where many parents lack values, and couldn’t truly define “integrity” if they had too; more or less pass it down to their children.

Regardless, the advice still remains valid. When you are weak, you must find strength; when you are strong, you must know restraint. The two proverbs which at first seemed contradictory are in reality complimentary. The irony is that learning when to use these skills is just as vital as learning how to use them. It all comes with experience.

Although there might be a link between these two balancing forces and the mental and physical strains that cause the mental condition commonly known as bipolar disorder, I won’t try to draw any conclusions to it here.

In the past, I’ve mentioned to friends that I notice a little bit of bipolar tendencies in my lifestyle. Weeks of extremely driven periods of time followed much more solemn weeks where I have little motivation, receive little joy from the “projects” I’m working on, and am more depressed overall. I kind of assume that most people are like this; at least the interesting people who have any kind of motivation to start off with. Most people I know usually lack the motivation aspect, although they might still meet the depressed criteria. In all honesty I’d rather have the ups and downs if that was cost to have the motivation to work on the interesting projects I do enjoy. I remember case studies from my college psychology class that would mention how clinically diagnosed bi-polar patients would describe as sense of loss for their manic periods after starting medication to curb the extreme nature of their problem. There’s obviously a difference between those diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder, and the average Joe who goes through emotional variance. A great book to read is The Unquiet Mind, by Kay Redfield Jamison. She’s a doctor of psychiatry who suffered from severe bipolar throughout school and into her career. I’m talking the real thing; going for ten days with out sleeping while repainting your entire house twice, and then two days later finding yourself on the living room floor in tears with a bottle of pills in one hand, and gu poised in your mouth with the other. (I made up these examples; its been a while since I read the book, but you get the picture.) She goes through what it was like going on lithium, and losing her creativity and emotional highs at the cost regaining her life.

I kind of assume that if you were to measure and somehow quantify the amount of bipolar tendencies present in the population, and map them out in a histogram, the end result would be normal distribution (a bell curve in lay terms). With exception of a couple of possible outliers, the extreme clinical cases would probably be from the small portion of the population lying on the extreme edge. This implies that any arbitrary line drawn to indicate the difference between a bipolar person, and a “normal” person would be just that, arbitrary. It would be a gradual and grey distinction. I’m no psychologist, but I think this is part of the problem we are having with too many people taking too many drugs to try to “solve” their problems. They see any display of what is actually a normal thing, as an indication that they are sick. It’s even sadder that doctors also buy into this.

I came up with another half baked up theory on explaining it. Scientists say the body cannot store sleep, but I question that position. There’s been plenty of times where I go for a couple of weeks only getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night until I finally just crash, and sleep it off for a morning. It’s almost like drive and determination is derived from a chemical that your body can only produce so much of. I’ll refer to it as “DRIVE”. If you burn it off faster than you can make it, you eventually deplete, and need to rest. Maybe you can build up your bodies efficiency in production and use of this “DRIVE” by practice. Maybe the more sloth like you become during your rest stages, the quicker your body can produce it. Maybe its also like an addictive toxin, if it builds up to much, you will feel the need to get rid of it, causing a restlessness, yet if you live with it built up to long, your body adjusts, and becomes desensitized to it. You will be able to remain at rest for longer periods of time with out feeling the need to purge your system of DRIVE.

The more I write this analogy, the more I like it. It reminds me of ancient Asain beliefs in things such as “chi” or “haragrei.” Although these beliefs often have little or no scientific background, they describe the system in such a balanced and well formed manner, that they can have more practical application than modern medicine or pscychology. In all honesty, though, I’m pretty much just talking out of my ass.