What if god.....
What if god just created existence as a school project? Remember what it was like to work on a grade school project? You didn’t always spend as much time on it as you should, and the final results weren’t necessarily what you had in mind when you set out. Regardless though, when you finished, you had something that you saw develop out of nothing, and were somewhat proud of the result. What happened to it after grading though? Did you keep working on it to fix that one small thing you couldn’t quite get right by the due date? Did you put it on a shelf to keep with you and admire into adult hood? More than likely, if it wasn’t thrown away immediately, it was stashed away somewhere, forgotten, to slowly degrade, and eventually get discarded years later in a cleaning frenzy. Maybe that’s what it was like with god. He created everything, took it in to be graded, showed how it all worked; the ecosystems, the climate, and how the people evolved and worshipped him. He probably lost a couple of points with the whole apple/serpent incidence. Things never seemed to quite work after that, and instead of everything running along smoothly and automatically, he had to keep intervening to keep it from falling apart. Afterwards though, he set it aside, and pretty much forgot about it. He still checked in every once in a while, but never really got involved much. Eventually he just let it to its own devices, and one day he’ll probably throw it out to make room for something more interesting.
What if god likes playing SimCity? Most of us have seen the game, if not played it. You build up the infrastructure, and watch the people come and grow. Its fun starting out, but eventually, you often get bored with it. Towards the end, it isn’t as exciting anymore, and unless your city works out perfectly as you planned, most games end up the same way; with total utter destruction. It might start with a random natural disaster that decimates all your beloved plans. You’re not quite sure if it can recover this time though, and after the smoke clears, you just don’t have the energy to do it all over again. Instead you hit the tornado button, to watch further destruction, then the fire button, then the earthquake. Watching everything get leveled provides you with a small amount of joy that the game hadn’t been providing recently. This analogy doesn’t need to be taken any further; maybe god just likes playing SimCity, and is starting to get bored.
What if god was one of us? (da da da da da da da)
Then he’d be over weight, lazy, and have a really big TV. Oh yeah, you bet he’d have a big TV; flat screen, plasma, 120 inch, surround sound, all that stuff. I mean come on, its god.
What if god is really just an asshole. I don’t mean the average run of the mill schmuck either; I mean the real twisted fuck that gets his jollies watching others live in pain and suffering. Remember that time your puppy died when you were kid? Oh yeah, that was god, and it was on purpose, just to watch you cry. And you know what; it was no accident that you were the one to find it as you came running into the room to put on its shiny new blue collar.
What if god didn’t create existence, but instead stumbled onto it. He was roaming through the universe and he came across the planet where this interesting thing called life had developed. Not having seen anything like it before, he was immediately intrigued. Despite the fact that none of the creatures were nearly as advanced as him, they were all quite interesting. The most sophisticated of them had even developed a rather elaborate language, which allowed him to communicate with them far past the basic emotions portrayed by the lesser animals’ verbal communication. They were in awe of his greatness, and trembled in fear at his displays of power. He soon became addicted to the worship bestowed by them, and in return started demanding it. Eventually he even started to believe their primitive religions proclaiming him as the most powerful force in the universe. He became more and more reclusive, surrounding himself only with those who were most adamant with their adoration. Sometimes he would reward those who worshipped him the most, and other times he would punish those who showed indifference. His powers were limited though, and his vision not all seeing as many thought. He couldn’t do all that was asked of him, and would become frustrated, lashing out at the entire world. In the end, many people began to live their lives out of his shadow, just as life had originally begun. He tried for a while to stop the decline, but eventually gave in. He now only focuses on the small things that make the world a slightly happier place; making butterflies and flowers simultaneous appear in Spring time, keeping summer rains exactly the right temperature, and having the perfect snow at least once a season.
What if god is a woman? I bet she’d be really hot. Plus it would explain a lot of things; the mood swings, the irrational behavior, platypuses, and how it’s possible to go 10 miles east, 10 mile north, and 10 miles south, only to end up in the same place. Only a woman would make directions like that possible.
What if god is a man? That would spread light on the whole war thing at least. It would also explain child birth. Seriously. Bowling ball size object. Golf ball size hole. You do the math. No one would sign off on that design plan unless he knew for damn sure that he wouldn’t have to be the one dealing with it.
What if god just took a brake; not a long one, just a real, real, short one? If the million of years it took to create the universe were only 6 days to him, then stepping out for a few thousand years would be nothing more than turning his head aside for a moment, or taking a quick trip to the bathroom at most. That would explain why no one’s heard from him in a couple of millennium. He’s not stupid though, and I doubt he would leave mankind to its own devices, even for just a second. That’s why he sent Jesus down to keep an eye on things while he was gone. Damn, I definitely don’t want to be around when he gets back. Just look at the place! There’re beer cans floating in the ocean, most of the plants are dead, half the animals are gone, and someone poked a hole in the ozone layer! Plus I’m sure he’ll just love Catholicism, and I’m not going to explain to him what we did to Jesus.
What if god is a goat? That might explain all the greenery. It doesn’t explain much else though, so it’s pretty unlikely.
What if god is nothing more than a chemical reaction? Synapses firing as dopine seeps between the interlaced fingers of adjacent cells. The sudden release of electrical current sweeps through the human brain, and awareness is awakened; a thought is born. Emotions such as love and fear begin to be realized, quantified, and analyzed rather than simply acted upon. Instinct is replaced with reason, and for the first time a question is formed. As the brain evolved generation after generation, these questions became more elaborate. Man struggled to explain the mysterious world he found himself immersed in. The concept of cause and effect became an underlying principle in explaining events happening before his eyes. When the question of existence inevitably came up, experience lead man to conclude that only a conscious being such as himself could have created the elaborate puzzles presented before him. The concept of god was born. The nature of being aware presented other challenges. The synapses fired more and more. Reason brought along with it choice. Following choice, came morality, and with it the need for a normative cause fundamental to any philosophy of ethics. Another need for god was found as he became more than simply the creator, but also the ruler. Not all people or cultures followed the rules of morality, but those that did prospered from its benefits, and the beliefs were passed down. Man’s inquisitive nature became his key to survival. The ability to think allowed him to conquer all other animals, and dominate even the most inhospitable environment. The seek for challenge became an inherent and necessary part of his life. Soon mere survival no longer satisfied him. Man’s knowledge of his own mortality caused him to question if there was reason to live at all knowing the eventual end. He sought more, he sought purpose. This final need completed the image of god, becoming God, not just the provider, or the judge, but the end to all means, the purpose necessary to complete a life capable of reason. The synapses fired again, and then were silent. The questions asked had found their answers.
What if god likes playing SimCity? Most of us have seen the game, if not played it. You build up the infrastructure, and watch the people come and grow. Its fun starting out, but eventually, you often get bored with it. Towards the end, it isn’t as exciting anymore, and unless your city works out perfectly as you planned, most games end up the same way; with total utter destruction. It might start with a random natural disaster that decimates all your beloved plans. You’re not quite sure if it can recover this time though, and after the smoke clears, you just don’t have the energy to do it all over again. Instead you hit the tornado button, to watch further destruction, then the fire button, then the earthquake. Watching everything get leveled provides you with a small amount of joy that the game hadn’t been providing recently. This analogy doesn’t need to be taken any further; maybe god just likes playing SimCity, and is starting to get bored.
What if god was one of us? (da da da da da da da)
Then he’d be over weight, lazy, and have a really big TV. Oh yeah, you bet he’d have a big TV; flat screen, plasma, 120 inch, surround sound, all that stuff. I mean come on, its god.
What if god is really just an asshole. I don’t mean the average run of the mill schmuck either; I mean the real twisted fuck that gets his jollies watching others live in pain and suffering. Remember that time your puppy died when you were kid? Oh yeah, that was god, and it was on purpose, just to watch you cry. And you know what; it was no accident that you were the one to find it as you came running into the room to put on its shiny new blue collar.
What if god didn’t create existence, but instead stumbled onto it. He was roaming through the universe and he came across the planet where this interesting thing called life had developed. Not having seen anything like it before, he was immediately intrigued. Despite the fact that none of the creatures were nearly as advanced as him, they were all quite interesting. The most sophisticated of them had even developed a rather elaborate language, which allowed him to communicate with them far past the basic emotions portrayed by the lesser animals’ verbal communication. They were in awe of his greatness, and trembled in fear at his displays of power. He soon became addicted to the worship bestowed by them, and in return started demanding it. Eventually he even started to believe their primitive religions proclaiming him as the most powerful force in the universe. He became more and more reclusive, surrounding himself only with those who were most adamant with their adoration. Sometimes he would reward those who worshipped him the most, and other times he would punish those who showed indifference. His powers were limited though, and his vision not all seeing as many thought. He couldn’t do all that was asked of him, and would become frustrated, lashing out at the entire world. In the end, many people began to live their lives out of his shadow, just as life had originally begun. He tried for a while to stop the decline, but eventually gave in. He now only focuses on the small things that make the world a slightly happier place; making butterflies and flowers simultaneous appear in Spring time, keeping summer rains exactly the right temperature, and having the perfect snow at least once a season.
What if god is a woman? I bet she’d be really hot. Plus it would explain a lot of things; the mood swings, the irrational behavior, platypuses, and how it’s possible to go 10 miles east, 10 mile north, and 10 miles south, only to end up in the same place. Only a woman would make directions like that possible.
What if god is a man? That would spread light on the whole war thing at least. It would also explain child birth. Seriously. Bowling ball size object. Golf ball size hole. You do the math. No one would sign off on that design plan unless he knew for damn sure that he wouldn’t have to be the one dealing with it.
What if god just took a brake; not a long one, just a real, real, short one? If the million of years it took to create the universe were only 6 days to him, then stepping out for a few thousand years would be nothing more than turning his head aside for a moment, or taking a quick trip to the bathroom at most. That would explain why no one’s heard from him in a couple of millennium. He’s not stupid though, and I doubt he would leave mankind to its own devices, even for just a second. That’s why he sent Jesus down to keep an eye on things while he was gone. Damn, I definitely don’t want to be around when he gets back. Just look at the place! There’re beer cans floating in the ocean, most of the plants are dead, half the animals are gone, and someone poked a hole in the ozone layer! Plus I’m sure he’ll just love Catholicism, and I’m not going to explain to him what we did to Jesus.
What if god is a goat? That might explain all the greenery. It doesn’t explain much else though, so it’s pretty unlikely.
What if god is nothing more than a chemical reaction? Synapses firing as dopine seeps between the interlaced fingers of adjacent cells. The sudden release of electrical current sweeps through the human brain, and awareness is awakened; a thought is born. Emotions such as love and fear begin to be realized, quantified, and analyzed rather than simply acted upon. Instinct is replaced with reason, and for the first time a question is formed. As the brain evolved generation after generation, these questions became more elaborate. Man struggled to explain the mysterious world he found himself immersed in. The concept of cause and effect became an underlying principle in explaining events happening before his eyes. When the question of existence inevitably came up, experience lead man to conclude that only a conscious being such as himself could have created the elaborate puzzles presented before him. The concept of god was born. The nature of being aware presented other challenges. The synapses fired more and more. Reason brought along with it choice. Following choice, came morality, and with it the need for a normative cause fundamental to any philosophy of ethics. Another need for god was found as he became more than simply the creator, but also the ruler. Not all people or cultures followed the rules of morality, but those that did prospered from its benefits, and the beliefs were passed down. Man’s inquisitive nature became his key to survival. The ability to think allowed him to conquer all other animals, and dominate even the most inhospitable environment. The seek for challenge became an inherent and necessary part of his life. Soon mere survival no longer satisfied him. Man’s knowledge of his own mortality caused him to question if there was reason to live at all knowing the eventual end. He sought more, he sought purpose. This final need completed the image of god, becoming God, not just the provider, or the judge, but the end to all means, the purpose necessary to complete a life capable of reason. The synapses fired again, and then were silent. The questions asked had found their answers.
posted by Frick at 1:48 AM
4 Comments:
Proves? That's quite the bold statement. Call me humble, but I highly doubt that one paragraph, written by me in one night could settle a debate that's been going on for centuries.
If you're referring to the observation that the universe is a very complex and orderly place as "proof" that it must have been designed, you are quite mistaken.
This argument is put forth in most Philosophy 101 classes as the "watch on the beach" discussion. Any reasonable person who finds a watch lieing on the beach will assume that someone made it, and not that the natrual powers of wind, water, and erosion formed the intricate time piece over the ages and deposited it on the beach. The analogy then goes that when man comes across existence, he must conclude that there was a creator. There are many issues with that conclusion, the main one being that it begs the question "Then who created god." You can keep going on and on, but you will never be left with an anwer that is not itself a complex system which the argument insists as having a creator. Saying that god just "is" has no more backing than just saying the universe just "is"
If instead, you were referring to the less constraining argument that the nature of man requires a god, regardless of its actual existance, then I might be more convinced. The existance of god will never be proven false, simply because its impossible to prove that something does not exist. Its much easier to prove that something does exist, although there has been no undeniable evidence to date. In all honesty, I beleive the question of gods existence is possibly one of the most irrelevant questions you can ask, but thats a different essay.
oh yeah. If one does choose to follow the "watch on the beach" logic, the conclusion still only answers the "if" question, and does nothing to answer the "what" question. It wouldn't in any ways support beleifs of any religion as to "what" god is. He could just be a giant turtle puking out planets. (bonus points if you catch that reference)
I have always wondered the same thing. I've often gone with the science experiement theory...it's my favorite.
As a kid, I used to think we lived in the septic tank of God...I reasoned that when He urinated, it rained, and when He did the other, natural catastrophes occured ("Acts of God" as insurance companies like to call them.) What if God was just taking a shit?
Today, I don't believe in any god. I work on believing in myself. That's enough of a challenge.
Its not quite fair to compare regular christians to fundamentalist muslims. If you look at what fundamentalists christians do and beleive, you'd might be surprised.
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